i dropped my phone the other day while carrying it without a case. though nothing visibly broke, i have notcied a sort fo rattle coming from the top of the back, near the camera. it rattles whn i tap. and today i noticed that there is a click sound when the camera is launched. i notice it whenever i open the camera after its been closed for a few seconds. so i close the app, wait a bit, then when i open it it'll mkae the click. if i press home and open again it won't do it, at least not consistently. i want to think that it's done these noises for a while and that i'm only now noticing them because i dropped it and am paying more attention, but it could also just be the result of my carelessness. i have apple care so i can just get it fixed later on if it really does bother me that much

even buying things doesn't bring me that rush anymore. i think i'm just bored of everything

i think that what mkes covid more, i don't know, powerful?, in the sense that it has had a huge impact on culture, is that it didn't go away in a short window of time. when you think about all the other things that have happened recently, the nort korea war scare, the iran war scare, etc. all those went away within a couple weeks. they left the zetgeist as quickly as they came. and in recetn years, ocurrences seem to always up the ante when it comes to extremes. today i was in the car wioth my sister and boyfriend driving them to the airport. i mentioned the tropical storm in the gulf and how i suspect it could reach category two by the time it makes landfall, even though its predicted to just be a storm. i explained that this is becasue the last hurricane was expected to reach three, but made it all the way to cat five. the funny part here was that none of us could remember the name of it, even though it flirted wioth hitting us. that's sort of what i mean by entering and exiting our minds. and covid hasn't done that. it's lingered. but its done it enough so that even though people are dying from it everyday, our minds have tried tyheir best to move on. so we don't think of that anymore, just how it affects us personally. which is wild. but becasue of that, i suspect that when iot does eventually die down, by like the end of next year, maybe into twenty-twenty-two, that we will also just kinnda forget about it. like right now, people will joke about how its crazy to think we were all pressed up against each other at clubs and shows, how we would eat buirthday cake that someone just blew their breath on or took a bite, but i feel that stuff will quickly return and people won't see it as weird anymmore. that that enlightnement will be cast aside in favor of stuff that gratifies us. i'm not taking a moral stance here, i'm just observing

i tweeted something that enraged a lot of right wing idiots and bots and while i want to delete it cause it wasn't even that funny or amusing of a tweet, i don't wnat them to think that they somehow won or that i'm backpeddaling. i just think it's a corny tweet that i left up too long. i don't care about their moral outrage, just the aesthetics of my online presence

i've tried to get back on instagram but everytime it sends me the two-fa code, i get anxious and just ignore it. maybe some day soon

when i found out nick filed a police report, thats when i realized that even the most ardent communists (or is he an anarchist?) will still refer back to the police system when the situation "calls" for it. it felt like how seeing your heroes falter would feel, but i wouldn't say he's my hero or anything. just that, he seemed pretty strong on his anti-cop conviction, so to hear that felt like a small betrayal. though, i understand useing that tool agaibnst a scummy, wannabe slumlord who rents a property for one thousandf, divides it into five cubbies, and rents those for a thounsad-plus each to a bunch of young proferssionals who's parents pay that dumb price. he sucks, so i underatnd to an extent. still, unexpected

haven't taken any psychedelics in months. going to change that soon

i have to mail out a package later. i've adressed envelopes countless times at this point and still i find myself having to google image search how to properly writ the name and address on them. even though it's starightforward i need the reassurance of an ugly jpeg. no muscle memory yet

i'm accruing late fees on a book as i type this. have to hurry with that

started scannig paper pieces i have in order to try and do some digital collages. its my way of circumventing the single-use nature of these sorts of things. i'm feeding the hoarding problem, taking it digital.