tuesday was the first time i got drunk to the point of not remebering what happened after a certain point. or drunk in general. but that happened after i had made it back to my hotel to end the night so at least the timing was right. i blame the last cutwater that i drank. though, even before that, the canned sake-thing was probably a tipping point

it was fun though. started by meeting up with diamond and tori in park slope. had vegan food at a place i ate at with diamond my first time in new york, four years ago. we drank cacti, which were dissapointing. i know people who hype it up and say that's all they're drinking this summer, and i feel bad that they're going to do that to themselves. from there we went to a liquor store, bought some cutwaters and the sake thing, and walked over to prospect park. watched the sunset. then convinced diamond to drive me and kim back to manhattan and to get drinks at clandestino, which i had heard about online so i figured might be worth checking out. the bartender was cool. i got an aperol spritz and a negroni. dia was trying to order some kind of cuban rum drinks. bartender helped her out. kim got gin and tonics. tried to get dumplings at one point and walked over to the place but it was closed. remember being back in my room, on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. i hadn't really smoked much in years, but i had a couple that day. one in the morning with a coffee. and one, maybe two that night. dont remember. i threw up at some point between that cigarette and falling asleep. was hungover the next day. mostly just my stomach felt out of wack. then later my head felt heavy so i slept a lot. now, days later, looking back, i'd do it again. i find myself feeling regretful after drinking a lot to the point of not remembering some stuff, but that goes away after a while. then i just remember that it startyed fun, so it makes me look back at it nicer, i guess

went birdwatching at the ramble that monday with emmett. walked over sixteen miles. felt good. ate a lot. i think part of why i like ny so much is that everytime i've been i've never had to worry about, like, responsibilities. it's always been in a vacation-like episode. still though, as i was telling dia while drunk, i would much rather live there than houston. this place is boring, and that was only reinfoced. i dont want to have to drive. i'd give up my little honda if it meant being able to walk places comfortably again

the founder of a publishing house/online lit mag that got me interested in writing passed away today. i'm gonna purchase one of the two books i'd been wanting from them tonight, directly from their site. as a thank you, and rest in peace. maybe i'll even start trying to write again

dropped off a roll of film today, but i really should have done it yesterday. i'll be lucky to get scans back by friday now. i was nearby last night, getting shake shack, but i forgot to grab it as i rushed out to ensure i made it before they closed. i had enough time though...

while at shake shack i thought i recognized someone but i wasn't sure. looked like they were on a date, so i didn't want to stare or anything. figured it wasn't them, but shortly after i got my order and left i got a text from the person i though i saw saying they think they saw me. which was funny. small world and what not. literally in my first few hours being back from new york