been home for over a week now. doesn't feel like it tho. i just deactivated my twitter because i felt i was spending too much time on there, and unhealthy too much, you know? i also have a whole presentation i have to do research for, make a powerpoint for, and record my voice over it for. lots to do in the next, i don't know, ten hours. i set up the tv in my room next to me so it could be a second monitor. hopefully that allows me to spread out the windows and be productive. i could also just be delaying myself. don't know

i've considered doing a small photography project where i take pictures of the nearby railroad tracks to add context to all those articles that were published online not too long ago about how some chemical used in their foundation has been leeching into the surrounding community and causing higher rates of a rare bile cancer. thought it'd be cool to highlight that while i'm here, but then considered why i would do that. is it cause i want attention? cause i want to feel like i'm doing something, when i know it will, at best, just get people i know to think about it before scrolling and forgetting. and there's nothing really wrong with that, just makes me feel like i'm doing it just for that moment of attention. i don't think i am. in fact, i'm not doing anything yet. so, i can't be. i rode back there earlier. took a picture. thought of different pictures i could take with a better camera

speaking of, i dropped off my film today. don't know when i'll get it back. paper on the door said it will be delayed two-three weeks, which is a lot. they normally get it to me by the end of the week. hate that i have to pay to see them, but i want the pictures. i want to think about how much everything seemed normal when in europe a month ago. how there was an understanding of things changing, but the world was still spinning and waves were still crashing

i need to take better advantage of my time. i know it's technically not 'need' but i want to. i have time to do things now. i should use it. both small projects in my room and larger things like the photography thing or other artistic endeavors. maybe rework the website that i paid for. things like that. read books, etc.