ok so i called, like i said i would, and they told me they'll make their decision by wednesday. obviously, i hope that they approve me. i don't expect to use it for too long. really just want until this extra cares money ends. im gonna continue manifesting it

one thing that i wasn't expecting, which i guess shows how little i know about labor/employee distinctions is that i was technically a 'seasonal' employee all these years. it makes sense in retrospect, but i didn't consider it. i just assumed i was on a, like, hiatus, or something. they read what my boss said, which is essentially my argument. that i would have worked again in may, had they reopened and stuff. i hope my boss wasn't annoyed by me applying for unemployment. i mean, we've been on good terms all these years, so i don't think she would be, but, idk, maybe cause i didn't give a heads up, there's a chance that could've been annoying. don't think so tho

these past few days, maybe even week, i haven't gotten good sleep. before it was just me schedule that was off, but now i'm just not getting the whole seven or eight hours. this may be why i've only been eating one meal a day. and when i eat that meal (it's large cause its the only one) i knock out for a minimum three hours after. i wake up gross and thirsty. it's getting to the point where i might as well just fast all day if eating is gonna make me go to sleep

i've switched back to using edge instead of chrome. i had to manually update edge by looking up the download link online, but since then, it's been a lot better. there aren't the same scaling issues it had before when using gmail or youtube or blogger. this is what caused me to switch entirely to chrome. but it imported everything quickly. and it uses a lot fewer resources (cpu and ram) which means my laptop doesn't get as hot and keeps up better. this computer's not that old, but given its history, anything i can do to alleviate hardware usage will help preserve it. i also opened it up and cleaned out as much of the dust and dirt that had accumulated in it over the years. fan doesn't sound as rough, and now spins up less cause of edge. don't see a reason to switch back for mopre than the occasional use

i was thinking about how gofundme is being used now as opposed to a few years ago, or even last year. i mean, ultimately its purpose is the same, but i've noticed an increasing trend in descriptors/adjectives on respective gofundme campaign pages, specifically those of a person. before they were titled 'help me pay for unexpected hospital bill' or 'help me finish this semesters tuition so i can enroll in classes' which are clear and concise. the about section would expand on that. now, though, the ones i have been seeing read more like 'help this gay latinx low-income person afford a new computer' or anything really. which to me comes off as people moving that information (ethnicity, orientation, financial class) from the bio to the title in a bid to help them get a leg up on others. that by putting it here, it will increase their chances to get funded. which, i get. like, you want to reach your goal and if this helps, then why would you not try it. but, to me, it increasingly feels like a sort of race to the bottom. where if you can add more marginalized identities to your gofundme, you'll get your goal over other people that don't do that. almost like guilt-tripping people into picking yours over another. but, as i said, most of that is whatever. i'm not so much condemning it as i am questioning the motive behind that. the one that does make me laugh though, is when they put 'low-income' on there. cause, like, duh, you know? you're on gofundme asking for money cause you can't afford whatever it is. it's implied that you're low-income or don't make enough to cover something, therefore a relative form of low-income at minimum. so that one definitely reads as a grasp at racing towards the bottom. that one, i might as well condemn cause it's silly. still won't though. do whatever. society is an algorithm, and what not